


Neon Bones and Christmas Gravestones

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternative Universe - No band, Christmas, Chronic Illness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hehehe, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, Josh is a personal trainer, M/M, TOPFL Christmas Challenge, Tyler works at Best Buy, and wears glasses, christmas themed smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 02:39:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16966128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He should be at home drinking eggnog and watching Christmas movies, not waiting in the doctor's office for terrible news.





	Neon Bones and Christmas Gravestones

**Author's Note:**

  * For [edy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/edy/gifts).



> Edy and I talk a lot about sad fic ideas but I felt like I could incorporate this idea into it and still have it be festive and cute. Bittersweet is more my style.
> 
> Also, this is for Edy because it's been three months and this is my gift to you <3 I'm so lucky to call you mine. Love you so much <3

It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

That’s all Tyler can think as he stares at himself in the mirror, stares at the bruises on his jaw, along his cheekbones, down his neck, at the black eye curved around his nose like the milky way high above them.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way, because he and Josh had  _ just _ gotten together, had  _ just _ moved in together, were finally ready to start their life together. They were supposed to be... happy.

But Josh was getting worried.

When he comes into the bathroom, he slinks an arm around Tyler’s waist and lays his head on Tyler’s shoulder. “You’re doing it again.”

“I don’t know how,” Tyler murmurs, his gaze never leaving the mirror. “Honestly, I don’t know how. Maybe... we should try filming or something.”

“Maybe.” Josh sighs. “Or maybe we should visit the doctor.”

“What’s a doctor’s visit gonna do? He won’t be able to explain how I’m hurting myself in my sleep.”

“At least he can give us tips on how to stop it. Or prevent it.”

“Maybe.”

Josh pushes the back of his hand against Tyler’s cheek. “You feel warm. Do you feel sick?”

“I have some aches and chills, but nothing that feels out of the ordinary. I promise I’m okay.”

“If you say so.” He kisses Tyler’s temple before turning his boyfriend away from the mirror so he can properly kiss him on the lips. “You’d tell me if you weren’t feeling good, right?”

“Of course I would!” Tyler promises in a mumble against Josh’s lips. He was always so surprised how soft Josh managed to keep his lips, even in the middle of winter. “I don’t want you to worry.”

“Well, I do worry. I love you. I want the best for you.”

“You  _ do _ give me the best. I promise.” Tyler initiates another kiss, knowing he has to be at work in less than an hour, but not caring all that much. Josh takes off Tyler’s glasses and sets them down gently on the countertop.

“You have work at nine, right?” Josh pushes him into the bedroom, his arms tight around Tyler’s waist as scoot backward on the balls of their feet. The back of Tyler’s shins bump against the box frame, his fingers grasping wildly at Josh’s waist, slipping underneath his shirt and already on the way to yanking it off.

“Yes, so we have plenty of time.” Tyler lands on his back, the mattress creaking underneath him as Josh straddles his skinny body. He’s being gentle, trying to make sure Tyler isn’t uncomfortable as he helps his boyfriend take his tee off and slides his jeans down until they get stuck on his thighs. Josh kisses Tyler’s tummy right after the waistband of his Calvin Klein boxers. Tyler quivers underneath Josh’s lips, his eyelids fluttering as he sinks his nails into the sheets of their bed.

He inhales sharply as Josh’s teeth graze his belly button.  _ “Oh.” _

“You like that?” Josh looks up at Tyler through his eyelashes, a smirk rising to those perfect, pink lips of his. He chuckles huskily, his thighs iron clamps pinning Tyler’s body to the bed as he slowly pulls down Tyler’s boxers to join his jeans stuck at the knees. Tyler’s arousal only increases when Josh leans down to kiss the head of his cock and spits into his hand to gently fondle Tyler’s balls.

“Oh,” he moans again, slamming his eyes shut. He slides a palm over his chest, thumbing at his nipples as Josh continues to kiss Tyler’s genitals. “That’s— that’s good. Right there.” Josh takes Tyler’s dick in his mouth and sucks obscenely, which, of course, only gets Tyler harder. He shouldn’t be surprised at this point. Josh could throw a stick and Tyler would be aroused. 

A sharp pain in his abdomen causes Tyler to grimace in pain and for Josh to stop. He sits up, holding Tyler with gentle arms as the younger boy adjusts himself.

“You okay?” Josh purses his lips in worry, his hands gripping Tyler’s sides like a lifeline. Tyler bites his lip and nods his head.

“Sorry, I just, felt like I got stabbed or something. It’s no big deal. Sorry to kill the moment.”

“No, not at all. Your health comes first.” Tyler didn’t have the best record when it came to health. He was a skinny, underweight man with a shitty excuse for an immune system and a horrible intolerance for the cold. 

He coughs into the crook of his arm and reaches for his shirt as Josh helps him pull up his underwear and jeans. He gives Tyler’s thigh a soft, loving pat. 

“Ty, I don’t think you should go into work today. I think we need to go see the doctor.”

Tyler shakes his head. “I’m fine. Besides, it’s nearly Christmas, they’ll need me for IT problems—”

“Sweetie,” Josh pushes down on his shoulder, stopping him from getting out of bed, “you’re sick, okay? And I’m really worried about you. You’ve been waking up with bruises and cuts for almost three weeks now, and you look like shit, no offense.” He pushes his hand against Tyler’s forehead. “Plus you’re still burning up.”

“That’s just because we were about to fuck.”

“You felt this way before that. Please, can we go to the doctor today? That way if it’s not life-threatening, I’ll know I have nothing to worry about. I know I worry about a lot of things, but that’s only because I love you so much.” He leans in slightly to press a wet kiss to Tyler’s cheek. “Please?”

Tyler gives in. “Okay, I’ll call off.”

“Thank you.”

 

* * *

“Well, nothing out of the ordinary from what I can see, but that could change when we get your blood work back. Just seems like you’re having a normal inflammatory response. I’d recommend lots of fluids and rest.”

“What about the bruises?”

“Most likely just hurting yourself in your sleep. I can prescribe some medicine to help you sleep better— chances are, it's dreams of some sort that are causing you to fidget or move. Don’t worry, it happens to a lot of people.”

“Thanks, Doc.” Tyler hops off the examination table with the prescription grasped tight in his hand and forces a tight smile. He feels himself itching to fiddle with the sides of his glasses and eventually gives in because he has no willpower. 

“I’ll call you when we get back your blood results. It should take about three to five business days. Really though, you should have nothing to worry about. It’s a basic cold and fever.”

“Thank you,” Tyler repeats, joining his boyfriend outside. Josh smiles as Tyler hugs him.

“All good?”

“Just a fever. Wants me to get lots of fluids and rest.”

“And for the bruises?”

He shakes his fist with the prescription clenched tightly. “Medicine to knock me out at night. Doc says it should help.”

“Cool. See, now I’m not as worried.” Josh swings their enclosed hands between them on the way to the car. “I’ll get you tucked in and make you some soup as soon as we get home.”

“I’d like that,” Tyler replies, smiling.

 

* * *

Josh takes good care of Tyler over the next couple of days, keeping him warm, tucking him in, bringing him sprite and water and chicken noodle soup. They cuddle, watch Christmas movies, and enjoy the added time they got together because Tyler had a lame excuse for an immune system. The best thing is that Geek Squad were okay with Tyler missing that one day because that just meant more hours for everyone else.

When Josh has to go back to work, Tyler prepares himself for his return to Best Buy. Christmas was just around the corner and that place was  _ slammed _ with customers buying electronics, wanting to finance them and buy protection plans and in some cases have things fixed. Good thing Tyler was flexible.

He gets a call from his doctor about an hour before he’s supposed to leave for work. The phone nestled comfortably in between his ear and shoulder, Tyler continues in the bathroom, running deodorant over his armpits and using some purchased concealer to try and hide the black eye still prominent on his face. He, fortunately, hadn’t found any new bruises or marks since his last doctor visit. The drugs seemed to be helping.

“Hey, Doc, how are you?”

“I’m great. How about you, Tyler?”

“Good. The medicine has really been helping. I’m just getting ready for work; is everything okay?”

“Well, I just got your blood work back, and I think it’s something we should talk about in person. Do you have time to stop by before work?”

“Absolutely.” He sets the concealer down and shifts his phone into the tight grip of his right hand. “I can head over there right now if you’re ready for me.”

“I think that would be best.”

“Sure thing. I’ll see you there.” The call ends, Tyler sends Josh a quick  _ I love you _ text, grabs his lunch out of the fridge, and hops in his car.

 

* * *

The first thing Dr. Merrill does is take Tyler’s height, weight, and blood pressure. The tightly pressed frown never leaves his face.

“Everything okay?” Asks Tyler, his stomach churning.

“You’ve lost quite a bit of weight since your last appointment in October. Has that been intentional?”

“No,” Tyler sniffs, “I mean, I guess I haven’t really been eating a lot, but I’m a pretty skinny dude already, yeah? As a kid, I had to take those nutrient boosters and all those supplements.”

The doctor sighs. “Mr. Joseph, let’s head somewhere private.”

Tyler follows close behind with a brand new wave of anxiety flowing through his veins like a storm was brewing over the ocean. He feels sick, knowing something terrible is about to be said to him. He’s preparing, but he knows deep down it won’t be enough.

Instead of sitting on the examination table, Dr. Merrill pulls two chairs into the center of the room and gestures for Tyler to sit down. He pulls a stack of paperwork out of a drawer and scoots closer, the plastic legs of the chair growling against the linoleum floor. Tyler begins to fiddle with his glasses. He should probably get them fixed because one of the arms is pretty loose. Maybe he can make an appointment to get them tightened this weekend.

“I wanted to get blood work done to see your health since you’ve struggled with sickness for most of your adult life, but I think this blood work saved your life.” He points to a highlighted passage. “You have an abnormal amount of white blood cells in your system.”

“And that’s not just because I was sick?”

“I think you were sick because of the number of white blood cells. Plus, with the fever, the aches and chills, the bruising, and the loss of weight... you’re exhibiting early signs of Leukemia.”

Tyler blinks, the realization not quite yet hitting. “Are you saying I have cancer?”

“It is a possibility. I will need to send you to a specialist to get a bone marrow examination done. If we can prove that’s where the cells are dividing and spreading rapidly, then that’s when we’ll begin to consider treatment options.”

His hands shake. “But... how much is that going to cost?”

“Your insurance will be able to help, and if not, there are many foundations and charities that you could get in contact with. Right now, we don’t need to worry about that. I’ll just get you an address so you can see the specialist and we can move on from there.”

Tyler shakes his head. His stomach churns and his eyes burn. “I can’t... I can’t have cancer. I’m healthy. I haven’t, no one in my family has had it, how could I? How could I—”

He isn’t able to finish. Dr. Merrill sighs and rubs at the nape of his neck. “We’ll get this all sorted out, Tyler. I promise. And I’ll be here for you every step of the way. The good news is that we caught this early. Your partner very well may have saved your life by bringing you in because of a simple fever.”

Tyler swallows, his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he nods his head and tries not to cry. He’s numb, in a state of shock at the mere mention of cancer. He wasn’t supposed to get it. That didn’t happen to people like him. It wasn’t supposed to.

He shoves the paperwork in his glove compartment when he arrives at work. Tyler doesn’t want to think about it. This is all a big nightmare. Maybe if he forgets about it, it will all go away.

He keeps pulling at his tie at work as he fills out paperwork for the guests he has reservations with today. He wants to vomit, but he’s trying to remain strong. Mark, his coworker, looks over at him. Once upon a time, it would have been for all the bruises popping up on his body, but after he assured he wasn’t being abused, that he was just really clumsy, people stopped asking him questions.

“You doing okay, Ty? You aren’t looking so hot.”

“M’fine,” Tyler lies, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck. He slams his hands down on the table and returns to the paperwork.

“If you need to go home, I’m sure people would be willing to cover.”

“Yeah,” Tyler scoffs bitterly, “you all will scatter my hours like fish food.”

Mark sighs. “You know that’s not true. We care about you. I care about you. And I can tell something is bothering you.” He pats Tyler’s arm. “I know we’re coworkers, but I’ve known you for a very long time. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Tyler really did like Mark. Sure, they were coworkers, but their relationship was much more than that. They had worked together for nearly six years and knew everything about one another. He was going to need to tell someone or else he would pop like a balloon.

He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a couple deep breaths. “I visited the doctor today, and he said... he said I have cancer.”

Mark’s eyebrows soften. “Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately.” The tears that have been burning at the corners of his eyes are finally starting to fall and Tyler can no longer stop them. “He said I have Leukemia. I mean, it’s not like, official yet, because I have to go get my bone marrow examined, but most likely... yeah. I’ve been displaying a lot of early symptoms.”

“But you can get treatments, right? Go through chemotherapy?”

“That’s just going to make me even sicker. Lose all my hair. Barely be able to get out of fucking bed.” His eyes roll up to the ceiling and blink back another round of tears. “Fuck, Mark. How do I tell Josh?”

“Maybe you don’t have to. At least until it’s for certain. Are you gonna go try to see the specialist today?”

“I guess the sooner the better.”

“I’ll go with you after work if that would help.”

Tyler sniffs, forces a smile. “I would love that. Thank you.”

“Of course. You know I love you, man. I’m here for you. We’re all here for you.” He gestures around the store, holding his ground, a gentle smile on his face. It’s not even sympathetic or out of pity, which Tyler is thankful for. It makes the pit in his stomach a little less like a hurricane and more like a tropical storm.

“Thank you, Mark.”

“I’m here if you need to talk. No one should have to go through this alone. Besides,” Mark knocks his shoulder against Tyler’s, “it’s Christmas. Everyone is willing to be a little extra nice this time of year.”

That was true. If he had to get cancer, at least it was at the most “wonderful time of the year.”

 

* * *

He gets home late that night, after waiting for nearly two hours to get the work done. They were supposed to send the results to Tyler’s doctor, who would then give Tyler a call in three to five business days. Why did he always have to wait to prolong his destruction? Doctors sure loved making a stupid profit. 

Josh smiles when Tyler comes in through the front door of their apartment. He must have just gotten out of the shower because his hair is wet and sticks to the nape of his neck. Tyler lets his glasses clatter on the kitchen counter as he shrugs his bag onto the ground and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I was wondering where you were. Weren’t you off at four?”

“Yeah, sorry. Mark and I went out for dinner afterward. I meant to text you but I got a bit distracted.”

“That’s okay. I had boxing class anyway.” He opens his arms and lets Tyler curl into his chest, hugging him tightly. Tyler feels himself almost burst into tears right then and there. He doesn’t want to lie to Josh. Josh is his everything, his entire world. Josh is an angel.

“Was work okay?” He asks, Tyler still tucked in Josh’s arms.

“Busy,” mumbles Tyler, “fixed lots of computers.”

“My little geek.” Josh kisses the top of his head before letting go, pushing back his mop of wet hair. “You’re off tomorrow though, right?”

“Yep. You?”

“Yeah.” Josh grins. “I got us tickets for ice skating and I thought we could go visit the lights.”

“That sounds fun!” He’s trying so hard to be optimistic, to keep it quiet that he’s a ticking time bomb, but Tyler can feel himself faltering. He hopes Josh is unable to notice.

“Cool. I have to run by Jordan’s to pick up Jim first thing in the morning, but I figured we could get coffee afterward and make a day of it. It’s not very often we both have a day off.”

Tyler smiles softly. “I would really like that.” Before Josh can get another word out, Tyler kisses him, wrapping his arms around Josh’s waist to ground himself. Josh kisses back, his breath catching as he’s pushed back onto the sofa so his boyfriend can straddle him. He sticks his tongue out when Tyler pulls away and sits up.

“You gonna fuck me?” He asks huskily, his grin wolf-like. Tyler chuckles.

Might as well. He might not be strong enough to do that in a few weeks. “If you’re okay with all my germs.”

“I think we’ve crossed that line about six years ago.”

With another giggle, Tyler dives back in, his hands palming Josh’s crotch through his sweats, their chests bumping against each other. Josh made him so happy. He didn’t want to ruin what they had by telling Josh he had a life-threatening disease. What if Josh wouldn’t love him anymore? What if Josh gave up on him?

Maybe the doctor was wrong. Until they got the bone marrow results back, Josh didn’t need to know.

 

* * *

When Josh first got Jim, Tyler was worried it would drive a wedge in their relationship. He always had an irrational fear of dogs, something that a lot of people had made fun of him for growing up. Jim was different though. He was kind, patient, and trained to make Josh feel safe. Thus, Tyler felt safe too, just by default.

Josh lets his pup sit in his lap on the way to the coffee shop, despite the fact that he’s driving and Jim keeps trying to resituate himself in Josh’s lap.

“I don’t think this is the safest way to drive,” Tyler comments, smiling sheepishly as Jim licks Josh’s chin. Josh uses a palm to shove him away.

“Maybe not, but it’s worth it for my wittle boy! Who’s a good boy? You are!” When Jim licks his chin again, Josh allows it, the car swerving slightly.

“As cute as that baby voice is, maybe we should focus on driving and like, not dying.”

Josh sticks out his bottom lip as he once again pushes Jim away from his face. As a result, Jim pads across the center console and into Tyler’s lap. Tyler scratches him behind the ears and smiles, pulling him sharply into his chest for a tight hug. He really had come to love this little guy.

The coffee shop allows them to bring Jim in, who sits at their feet as they sip their lattes. Tyler preferred a bit more sugar and milk in his coffee than Josh did, but Josh had never said anything about it. He keeps bumping his ankle against Tyler’s and blushing behind his cup.

Until he was told he might possibly die, Tyler had never stopped to think about moments like this. Even now, as he fiddles with his glasses and drinks his coffee, he realizes how lucky he is to have lived the life he had. Even if he died young, at least he had been given the chance to meet Josh and have him in his life.

 

* * *

With Jim safely crated in their apartment, they head out for their date night, hand in hand, bundled up in beanies, fluffy coats, gloves, and boots. Josh drives them to their location, the heater at full blast and the radio playing their favorite tunes.

“What if we got married?”

Josh looks over at him briefly before returning his attention to the dark roads. “That’s out of the blue.”

“I’m just saying. We’ve been dating for a really long time and like, maybe we’re ready to take that next step.”

“But why do we need a piece of paper to confirm that we love each other? At this point, I already feel like we are a married couple.”

“Maybe,” Tyler mumbles, turning to look out the window. “I dunno. I think it would be fun to have a fancy wedding and stuff. Walk down the aisle, dance together, eat food and cake with all our family members. We could even have Jim be the ring bearer!”

Josh pauses to mule it all over, leaving Tyler to quietly panic that maybe he’s stricken a nerve on Josh’s part. They had never talked about marriage before and it seemed to be freaking Josh out a little bit. 

“Where did this come from?”

Tyler shrugs. “I’ve just been thinking about it.”

“I don’t want to be an asshole, but are you okay if we... maybe, talk about this later?”

Yeah. He had made things awkward. “Of course. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Josh murmurs back, reaching over the center console for Tyler’s hand. Tyler allows him to hold it and rubs his thumb in small circles over the back of Josh’s hand. “I love you a lot. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t.”

 

* * *

A week passes before Tyler gets the test results back. He definitely has Leukemia. In fact, Tyler’s pretty sure he can feel some of those symptoms. He woke up with a bloody nose the morning he got the call from Dr. Merrill.

The doctor slaps a stack of papers down in front of Tyler on the morning of Christmas Eve. He already got the news and was numb from the shock. It was Christmas Eve. Christmas. Eve. How was he supposed to tell Josh? He’d have to start treatments, would have to call their insurance company and contact his parents. He was supposed to go home, drink some eggnog, watch Christmas movies and exchange presents with Josh tonight. Instead, he was going home with treatment options and a shitton of foreboding debt.

“Most people opt for chemotherapy,” Dr. Merrill explains in a somber, quiet voice, “but there are other options as well. Radiation therapy, genetic treatments, even a stem cell transplant; I think it’s in your best interest to start with chemo and we can go from there.”

Tyler nods his head, even chuckles a little. “When do I start losing all my hair?”

He doesn’t answer. His face is grim. “I know this isn’t an optimal time to find this information out and I’m sorry. Really, I’m sorry. With these chemo treatments though, you should get better in no time. Our specialists could probably get you in right after Christmas. Like I said, it’s good we caught it early. That gives us time to treat it.” He pushes the paperwork across the table. “I’ve given you some options for chemotherapy at different locations. Underneath that are symptoms and side effects you can expect to have-- even what might follow.” The doctor clears his throat. “I also put some therapy options in there. I know it’s none of my business, but it might be nice to have someone to talk to during these... difficult times.”

“Thank you.” He doesn’t know what else to say. Tyler feels like shit.

“We’ll schedule some more appointments periodically to check in. Mostly you’ll be speaking with your cancer team.”

“Sure, sure.”

Dr. Merrill gives him a sympathetic smile. “You can get through this, Tyler.”

He knows he can get through it. He just doesn’t want to have to be the person to start. 

At work, Mark hands him a Santa hat and a small, wrapped box. “Merry Christmas,” He says, smiling. All the other geek squad members are wearing Santa hats, but Tyler is the only one with a box in his hand. He peels his glasses off his face to rub the bridge of his nose and gently shakes the box. 

“Mark! You didn’t have to get me anything. I didn’t even get you anything!”

“It’s okay,” he pats Tyler’s arm, “really. Open it.”

Even though Tyler still feels bad, he obeys, using his pale, shaky fingers to carefully tear open the wrapping paper and remove the lid from the box. Inside is a mustard yellow beanie and Tyler finds himself starting to tear up. 

“I just figured, y’know, when you start going through chemo treatments, you might want, like, something to keep your head warm. And maybe hide your soon to be bald head.”

“Yeah?” Tyler chuckles as he reaches out to pull Mark into a hug. “Thank you so much, man. Seriously. You’ve been such a huge support to me.”

“We’re all rooting for you. And when you’re ready to tell the others, I know they’ll be willing to help too.”

“I know. You guys are all so great to me.” On cue, Michael, another one of their employees, runs over to give Tyler a candy cane. He does a poor impression of Santa with the “ho ho ho” and darts off to finish passing out his minty candy weapons. 

“You think you’ll be okay today?”

“Yes.” Tyler smiles. “Let’s get focus on the holidays and work today. Make the day go faster.”

Mark gives him a playful salute. “Sir yes, sir.”

 

* * *

Josh greets Tyler with enthusiasm when he walks through the front door. Tyler barely even has time to set his stuff down before both Jim and Josh are jumping at his heels.

“Merry Christmas, baby,” Josh grins as he slides his hands gently along Tyler’s waistline, tugging out his white dress shirt out of his slacks to feel the warmth of his skin. “I’m so glad I have you.”

“All I want for Christmas is you,” replies Tyler, who sticks out his tongue and goes to bury his head in the crook of Josh’s neck. “I’m so glad I have you too.”

“Do you want your present now or later?” His grin becomes more wolf-like, more x-rated, as his hands begin to roughly push and tug at the skin on Tyler’s hips.

“Depends on if that means we get to have sex,” Tyler bats his eyelashes and hopes he’s being flirty enough for Josh’s tastes. He would be okay with being the bottom today if that meant Josh would take good,  _ good _ care of him.

“I guess I got you multiple presents.” Tyler jumps and Josh hoists him properly around his waist, letting his hands grasp Tyler’s ass. He laughs as Tyler leans in to kiss him before gesturing to the Santa hat. “I think you should keep that on during this.”

“I didn’t know you had a Santa kink.”

“Only when Santa is as hot as you.” Josh returns the kiss, stumbling blindly into the bedroom, leaving Jim alone to chew at Tyler’s bags. He doesn’t care one bit, because all his mind can focus on right now is Josh.

Tyler falls on his back, bouncing against the mattress as Josh straddles him, his lips still attached to Tyler’s jaw as Tyler pushes all the pillows behind him to prop himself up. He tilts his head toward the ceiling to give Josh more canvas to paint with that beautiful tongue of his. It flicks across his Adam’s Apple, causing Tyler to quietly grunt. 

“Good?” Josh murmurs, his fingers itching to remove the layers separating their skin from rubbing up against one another. He reaches to delicately slide Tyler’s glasses off his face and sets them to the side, still rolling his hips over Tyler’s pubic bone. 

“Mmhmm,” He gasps slightly, “love you.”

“Let’s get this shirt off of you, huh?” Josh ruts against Tyler’s crotch as he slinks his fingers up to unbutton Tyler’s white shirt and loosen his tie. Tyler helps him pull the tie over his head and throws it across the room. With a small chuckle, Josh finishes undoing the buttons and begins to press a tiny trail of kisses down the length of Tyler’s torso. Tyler squirms underneath him and groans again. 

“Love you,” Tyler repeats, opening his mouth. Josh uses that as an excuse to stretch his neck up to plant a passionate kiss on those pretty lips of his. 

“I love you,” Josh says back, sitting up so Tyler can adjust himself more comfortably against the mountain of pillows. After one more kiss on the lips, Josh returns to his trail of kisses up his torso until he reaches Tyler’s hardened nipples.

“Right there, please,” coos Tyler as he looks up at the ceiling. He peels off his shirt and tosses it to the side with his tie. Josh bites down and sucks, working his fingers into the pudge of Tyler’s sides. 

“What do you want me to do to you tonight? Huh?” Josh whispers huskily as Tyler moans again. “Anything you want.” 

“You decide. Surprise me.”

Josh raises an eyebrow seductively and chuckles to himself as he starts to tug off Tyler’s slacks, leaving him in just his Calvin Kleins with a half chub. Josh giggles again, causing Tyler to join him. This was why he loved Josh so much. Even after all this time of being together, they could still laugh and enjoy each other’s presence no matter what situation they were in. 

“Fix that Santa hat,” Josh demands as he slides off the bed to pull off his shirt and pants. Tyler watches him carefully, sucking on a fingertip as Josh disappears into the closet and returns with an open package of Christmas lights. Tyler finds himself giggling even more. 

“You did not.”

“I did too,” Josh wiggles his eyebrows as he pulls the lights out of the box and unplugs the bedside lamp to make room for the lights. The room lights up in an array of reds and greens as Josh begins to wrap the lights around his neck and arms. 

“Setting the mood,” Tyler teases, still sucking on his fingers. Josh finishes up by turning on their small, battery operated Christmas tree sitting by their bedside. 

“I’m doing it all out of love.” He grunts as he climbs back on top of Tyler and begins to grind his clothed cock against Tyler’s. The lights are beginning to feel warm against their skin. “Tonight is all about you.”

“You should use the lotion we got from Bath and Body.”

“The peppermint one?”

“Exactly.” Tyler grins as Josh moves to open the drawer to pull out the lotion and sits up to squeeze a dollop into the palm of his hand. Tyler relaxes as Josh begins to massage the lotion into Tyler’s thighs, pushing up underneath his boxers. His fingers feel like heaven against Tyler’s skin, especially with the scent of peppermint in his nose.

“Can I take them off?”

“Only if you rub some more of that lotion in.”

“How ‘bout a handjob?”

“Sounds lovely.”

“Mm.” Josh begins to hum “Jingle Bells” underneath his breath as he pulls down Tyler’s boxers, letting Tyler help kick them off to the ground below. Josh lowers himself onto Tyler’s thighs and squirts some more lotion into his hand before moving in to jerk Tyler off. 

Tyler’s mouth falls open and he moans a little, pushing up into Josh’s slick, lotion-covered hand. “Oh, J.”

“Yeah, you like that?” When Tyler opens his eyes, he sees Josh jamming his other hand down his own briefs to stroke his own dick.

“Why don’t you, ahh, ride me?”

Josh sucks in a breath. “Yeah, okay, yeah. Sure. Yeah.” He peels off his own boxers graciously while kissing Tyler with everything he’s got. Tyler’s lucky he got a boyfriend who was such a wonderful kisser.

“Lube and condoms are in my drawer.”

“Cool cool cool,” Josh stammers, still rubbing their dicks together as he reaches up for the drawer where their bottle of lube is kept. He pauses. “What if we do... no condom.”

“That is a-okay with me, baby, as long as something happens soon.”

Josh scoffs and rolls his shoulders to adjust the lights starting to burn a little as he fumbles around in the drawer for the lube, accidentally knocking over their tree in the process. They both giggle a little as Josh mixes the remains of the peppermint lotion in his hand with their water-based lube before smearing it all over his entrance and Tyler’s cock. Tyler throws out a hand to stop him before he lifts his hips.

“What about prep?”

Josh blushes. “I’ve been waiting for you to come home, so.”

Tyler’s heart thumps against his ribcage. He pictures Josh sitting on their bed, shoving his fingers inside his ass, preparing for their Christmas sex, and it only excites him even more. In fact, Tyler finds himself eagerly lifting his own hips off the sheets to help Josh lower himself onto Tyler’s dick. They groan together, Josh’s fingers returning to squeeze the pudge on Tyler’s hips. 

They move in sync, grunting, rutting up against each other, kissing everywhere lips can reach, can touch, until they reach their climax. And suddenly, the stress of the day rolls away. How could Tyler have thought Josh would leave him knowing he was sick if this is how he treated him now? Josh had always put Tyler ahead of him. That was the reason they had been dating for six years, the reason why the sex always felt as new as it did the first time they made love.

Afterward, Josh draws them up a bath, with essential oils, candles, and Christmas tunes to help them relax. Tyler sinks his fingers into Josh’s thighs to situate himself as they kiss. With a laugh, Josh pushes back Tyler’s wet hair and all the bubbles that were stuck to his forehead.

“I actually did get you an actual present, just so you know. I wouldn’t, like, just use sex as some kind of excuse.”

“Even if you did, I wouldn’t mind.” Tyler beams at him, batting his eyelashes all dreamily. He’s so hopelessly in love with Josh that the whole Leukemia thing is starting to come back and make him sick. Of course Josh wouldn’t want to stay with a sick person. He would move on, find someone better—

“Ty,” Josh shakes him a little, “are you okay?”

“I think I—” he gags, pulling his hands out of the water so quickly that it sloshes over the sides of the tub, “I might—”

And before he can say anything, Tyler vomits all over the bathroom floor.

 

* * *

Josh tucks him into bed and lays on his side, propping his head up with his arm with his elbow on the bed. Tyler folds his arms and sighs.

“I’m not sick. It... it was nerves, that’s all. And I’m sorry for throwing up, I could have cleaned it up.”

“I’m not going to make you clean up your own puke, babe. That’s just fucked up.”

“Well, thanks. You’re too sweet.” He sniffs. “I’d recommend round two, but I don’t want to puke all over you.”

Josh chuckles. “Yeah, well, I think that’d be okay because I love you,” he lifts up Tyler’s hand to kiss his knuckles, “and what’s wrong with a little more germs?”

“It’s better on the second round anyway,” Tyler teases, looking at Josh’s calloused fingers in between his. Josh laughs again.

“I guess sex over and over all night is postponed until tomorrow night.”

“Maybe we can just watch Christmas themed porn instead.”

Josh’s smile grows three times that night, like the Grinch’s heart. “I love you,” he says.

“I love you too,” Tyler says back.

 

* * *

He wakes the next morning to Josh kissing his neck. With a soft giggle to let Josh know he’s awake, he turns his head to plant a proper kiss on Josh’s lips.

After a few more moments of making out, Josh pulls away, a dreamy smile on his face as he rubs his thumb over Tyler’s cheekbone.

“Good morning beautiful,” he whispers.

“Merry Christmas,” Tyler whispers back. “Are you ready to open presents?”

“Only if one of my presents is you.”

He rolls his eyes, still smirking. “We’ll see.”

Josh peels back the duvet and climbs out of bed, bending down to pick up his discarded boxers from last night. When he catches Tyler staring at his limp dick, he folds his arms and sticks out his tongue. “See something you like?”

“Let’s do naked Christmas.”

“Sure, if you wear the Santa hat.”

Already on his way out of bed, Tyler pauses to slide the hat over his head and push the white puff ball at the tip out of his way. Josh opens the door for Tyler walking past him, giving his ass a playful slap.

They kneel down by their Christmas tree where Josh distributes the presents. Even Jim gets a gift, a bone with a cute red bow that he tears viciously into to get to the goods.

“You open first,” Tyler demands, pushing a rectangular box Josh’s way. He shakes it like a young child, smiling all goofy-like before Tyler pressures him to tear into the wrapping paper. Inside is a pair of pleather overalls, a white baseball tee with red sleeves, and a brand new pair of boxers. 

“Oh, dude!” Josh holds them up, admiring the overalls he has been longing after for months. “Thank you so much!”

“Of course,” Tyler laughs as Josh pulls him into a hug and pushes a large box toward Tyler in the process. 

“Your turn.”

“Josh, this is huge. What’d you get me, another dog?” He rests his ear on the surface. “I don’t hear anything so hopefully it’s not a dead dog.”

He snorts. “It’s not a dog. Open it.”

The smile never leaves Tyler’s face as he carefully peels apart the tape from the paper and unfolds it so he can take out the box inside. He wants to shake it, but something tells him that might not be the best idea. 

Instead, he uses his fingernail to slit the tape and rips open the box. Inside is a beautiful, mahogany ukulele, designed with intricate crescent moons on all of the frets. Tyler feels tears well up in his eyes. 

“Holy crap, Josh.” He takes it out of the box and cradles it in his hands like a newborn baby. “I... I don’t even know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just remember when we went to the music store and you kept talking about how great it would be to learn how to play something and I figured... why not? You’re talented and brilliant enough to figure it out. You can do anything you put your mind to.”

“Aww, Josh.” He presses a kiss to Josh’s cheek. “That’s really sweet of you.”

“You know I’d do anything for you.” He smiles. Tyler smiles back. 

“I know. Here.” Josh’s last present is pushed his way. “You’ll like this one.”

Inside is a silver Apple Watch with a black leather band. Once again, Josh’s eyes light up. “No way.”

“It’s so you can track your progress at the gym, my fantastic personal trainer.”

Josh huffs in embarrassment, his cheeks turning a beautiful shade of dusty pink until he buries his head in his hands. Despite how hard he worked to have a nice body, he was so humble about it. Tyler always had been a little jealous, mostly because no matter what he did his skinny, lanky frame never seemed to change from just that: skinny and lanky. 

Despite that, Josh still loved him, and Tyler learned to love his body.

“I’ll use it every day. Promise.” After setting it to the side, Josh grabs the last present under the tree: a teeny tiny box that Tyler hadn’t even noticed. He opens Tyler’s hand and sets the box in his palm. Tyler wastes no time and rips the wrapping paper off. As soon as he sees the red, velvet case underneath, tears are brimming at his eyelids and actually falling this time. Josh situates himself so he’s down on one knee.

“I didn’t think I’d be doing this butt naked, so maybe we can omit that part when we tell people.” Josh is crying too, despite the nervous giggles that keep coming out of his mouth. He extends a hand to help Tyler open the box to reveal a gorgeous obsidian ring.

“Josh, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I know what I said the other day about marriage, and I... I felt bad, but I didn’t want you to think I was up to anything—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” God, he can’t stop crying. Josh is holding his hands, down on both knees just like Tyler, the carpet itching against their skin.

“I just, I love you so much. And I wanna live the rest of my life with you by my side.”

“Me too.”

“Tyler, will you marry me?”

“Yes,” he’s laughing and crying and hugging Josh so tightly he has no feeling in his arms. “Oh my god, yes.”

They kiss passionately, still giggling with buckets of tears down their cheeks. Tyler thinks this might be the best Christmas yet. 

Josh makes french toast while Tyler cleans up the living room (both fully clothed, mind you.) He puts the wrapping paper in the trash and gathers up all his work stuff to tuck it away in their bedroom closet. Tyler takes a moment to look over the paperwork Dr. Merrill gave him the day before. With everything going on, it was easy to forget he had Leukemia and was slowly dying. Maybe he could just... set it on the back burner until the holidays are over. Then he could tell Josh. They had just gotten engaged; why would he ruin it with bad news  _ right now? _

He could wait. It wasn’t important to bring up right now.

So he shoves it in his bedside drawer and forgets about it.

They went over to visit their parents later in the day; first, it was Tyler’s family for lunch, and then Josh’s family for dinner. It was lucky their families lived close to one another and that they were still in Ohio with the opportunity to see them over the holidays. Everyone was over the moon at the announcement of their engagement. Tyler’s sister Maddy demanded to help him plan the wedding and said she’d even be okay sharing Josh’s sisters too. Which was a good thing, because both boys knew Abbie and Ashley would force their way into the ceremonies before they even told Josh’s family. Tyler was pretty sure his mother was just excited her eldest son was finally getting married.

When they get home, Josh is already clingy, grabbing at Tyler’s waist and kissing his neck before they’re even in the apartment. He backs Tyler up into the bedroom, pushing him gently so he falls onto his back. Tyler tilts his chin up, letting Josh kiss his neck and rub his arms.

“I can’t believe I get to call you my fiance,” Josh murmurs, burying his fingers into the hair at the nape of Tyler’s neck. “I’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

“I think I get to hold that title.” Tyler chuckles, pulling Josh back down for another kiss. “Get the lube and I’ll let you fuck me tonight.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhmm,” he mumbles against Josh’s lips, “lube’s in the—”

“Yep.” Josh knows where the lube is. They practically make love every night, so it isn’t surprising as he slides off momentarily to open Tyler’s bedside drawer. However, instead of pulling out the lube bottle, he takes out the papers from the doctor’s office.

Tyler doesn’t notice right away, too occupied with unbuttoning his shirt. When he looks over to see what’s taking his boyfriend so long, he freezes. 

“Ty, what is this?” He turns around, the papers clutched so tightly in his hand that its crinkling the paper around his knuckles. “Why are you looking at chemotherapy options?”

“Josh, I can explain.” Tyler rolls off the bed with his hands held in front of him.

He begins to angrily cycle through the paperwork. “Therapy? Side effects?” He blinks rapidly, his voice cracking, “Leukemia?”

“I was going to tell you, I swear.” Tyler takes a few steps forward, feeling his own heart starting to tear. 

“How long have you known?”

“Josh—”

“No!” He yells, “how long have you known?”

Tyler clears his throat and looks at the floor. “About a week.”

“And when were you going to tell me?”

He is quiet. “After the holidays.”

Josh scoffs. He’s hurt, that much is obvious. Hurt, upset, and frustrated. Tyler once again moves to hug him, but Josh pushes him away. Quickly, he shoves his arms into a jacket, refusing to answer to any of Tyler’s pleas.

By the time the front door slams shut, Tyler’s voice is hoarse.

 

* * *

It’s late when Josh comes back home. Tyler spends his time sobbing into Jim’s fur, who sits cuddling on his lap because that dumb dog can sense when something is wrong.

He steps inside awkwardly, his face pink from being outside, with a single can of Redbull. Tyler watches through his eyelashes, his face still buried in Jim’s coat as Josh makes his way over to sit next to him on the sofa. 

It’s quiet for a little bit. Josh reaches for Tyler’s hand and sets the Redbull can in it. It’s a peace offering, a gesture of kindness. 

It’s enough for Tyler to snap. 

He burst into sobs, trading Jim’s back for Josh’s chest, and heaves hysterically until he feels like he might vomit. 

Josh pets his hair and strokes his arms, crying silently right along with his boyfriend. Jim whines and lays his head down on his front paws.

“I’m s-so s-sorry I d-didn’t tell you,” he hiccups, “I thought I w-would lose you.”

“Did you really think I’d just walk out on you because you’re sick?” Silence. “I would never do that. Please know that I would never,  _ never _ leave you. I know we aren’t married yet but through sickness and health still stands. We—  _ you, _ can get through this.” He pauses. “When did it start?”

Tyler sniffs, collects himself. “When you took me to the doctor. Y’know, for the bruises.”

Josh runs his tongue over his lip. “I knew something was wrong.”

“The doctor said you saved my life ‘cause we caught it early.”

“That’s good.” There’s more silence. “I’ll go with you for your treatment consultation.”

“I’d like that.” Tyler tries to wipe more of his tears away with his sleeve. “We should probably go tomorrow.”

“Sure. Yes, of course.”

“And just because I’ll start getting weak, and lose my hair, doesn’t mean I want your sympathy, okay? I just want you to treat me like a normal person. Like your Tyler.”

A small smile spreads across his face. “I wouldn’t see it any other way.”

“And it’s probably... gonna be expensive.”

Josh grabs Tyler’s knee. “It’s okay. We’ll find a way.”

Tyler kisses him gingerly, right then and there and there on that stupid, smelly sofa they bought from a garage sale. He doesn’t know why he thought anything would change. It was Josh.

And with Josh, he could get through this.

 

* * *

The night after Tyler’s consultation, they shave their heads together. Tyler cries into Josh’s shoulder.

 

* * *

At New Year’s Eve, they kiss.

 

* * *

When Tyler became so weak he couldn’t get out of bed, Josh asks if Tyler wants to get married right then and there. 

And when Tyler looks at his boyfriend, his fiance, supporting him as he fights for his life, Tyler  _ knows _ .

 

* * *

“Next Christmas, I promise I won’t get sick,” he whispers into Josh’s ear right before the priest declares them husband and husband. Josh laughs.

“I know you won’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> pahcheetah on tumblr. I'll have another Christmas fic coming later this week!


End file.
